It’s been a week since Slice of Life ended, and I’ve felt a little adrift without my daily blogging. I missed Tuesday’s call for SOL posting, which I’m hoping to jump into regularly. I told myself when SOL ended, I wanted to keep going with my writing, but… Right now, I just feel beaten down. As teachers we’re constantly asked to do more with less. My 4th period class is a constant rotation of absences that never get caught up. Creative Writing is producing some great poetry, but they all have senioritis. Multiple students are dealing with abusive boyfriends, sexual harrassment, depression, heartbreaking stories that I can’t fix and which make my curriculum seem both pointless and all the more important at the same time.
And it’s Thursday night. The weekend looms, but more importantly, one week from tonight we’ll be hopping on a plane for spring break. It will be almost like college – except, of course, that we’ll be taking K, our 22-month-old, on his first plane ride – but still, I am reminded of that wonderful bubble of four years where the worst thing I had to worry about was making my Friday morning Spanish lecture. Back then, Thursdays meant rounds at the bar, sitting with friends who lived down the hall or a few blocks away, pretending to be adults. Now, Thursdays just mean a cup of tea and Netflix. It’s a different kind of thirsty.
I am thirsty for a break. No responsibilities, no work, no bills.
I am thirsty for time. I want to drink seconds like I were drowning until I’ve swallowed an ocean of moments that can suspend me indefinitely.
I am thirsty for peace, for justice, for knowledge–knowing that I will never read all the books I want, never understand the why’s? of this world and its heartaches.
I am thirsty for poetry. I want verse to sustain me, to devour metaphors that fill my stomach and my soul until they are bursting out my mouth, leaking through my pores, uncontained by my skin.
I am thirsty for travel. I want to breathe air that I have never breathed before, to fill my camera with photographs and my passport with stamps and my bank account with money for plane fare.
I am thirsty for sleep. I dream of sleep and wake up and feel tired.
I thirst. I drink and I drink and I drink, and I am never satiated.